Attention in your body

We have a tendency to worry and daydream, and not be in touch with our feelings because of that. Here's how to deal with that.

Being in your head

This is often called "being in your head," because that is where worrying and daydreaming take place. This is not quite the whole story, but more about that later.

In order to feel more, there are a few things that help. You will need to develop an awareness that you are in your head, in order to shift your focus more to your feelings. You will also need to bring your awareness more into your body, where the feelings are. That would be the chest area in particular, but also the belly, pelvis, legs and feet carry feelings.

The exercise

You can basically do this exercise anywhere when you have nothing in particular to do. You can do it while sitting or walking, while waiting for something, whenever you would otherwise have just killed time. More about that later on.

When you notice yourself being in your head, you gently shift your attention to your feelings. When you notice that you are in your head again, you gently shift back to your feelings. And so on. It is not so that the being in your head will be going away any time soon. But over time, you notice quicker when you are, and can go to your feelings again. It won't help to judge yourself for not being with your feelings the whole time. So, be gentle with yourself.

Feeling more

There is a consequence, though. When doing that, you will feel more. You may, however, not like what you get to feel then. You will, therefore, also need to develop ways of dealing with that.

The best way to do that, is to regularly also do the other exercises. You will then not only get to tolerate those feelings better, but gradually also get a working through process going. Which is what we're aiming at here.

Becoming more aware of your body

Since this is about feeling and sensing in your body, anything you do that makes you more aware of your body will help. You could, for example, purposely feel what's happening in all the parts of your body. You could do practices that require you to be aware of your body, like Yoga, Taichi or Qigong.

Using a hand mudra

There is a particular way to hold the fingers of your hands, that helps to focus your attention lower in your body. You may have seen it before, like in pictures that show people meditating. Such a hand posture is called a "mudra."

You let the tips of your index fingers and thumbs touch. Leave the rest of your fingers open. Immediately after you do that, you may feel your attention in your body move down, and include your pelvis, legs and feet. It is possible to resist this, so you will need to let it happen.

You can then feel the feelings from the lower part of your body as well.

Sitting or walking

Something that may help to do this, is to walk while working with your feelings. It's easier to get your attention lower in your body while you walk.

You could walk through the room you're in, or outside in a park, or in nature. You would not pay much attention to your surroundings, and doing this in an environment that distracts as little as possible is to be preferred.

Some prefer sitting, on a chair or in a meditation posture. It is a good idea to experiment a bit with this. See whether it is easier for you to feel things while sitting or walking. Also note how much you get distracted. Do you get drowsy after some time, or do you find yourself daydreaming or worrying?

You can process the feelings that come up during the day, with this. It's not always necessary to set time aside for it. Once you get the knack of it, you can work through stuff during little breaks you take.

Feeling inside your head

While in the beginning it helps to feel lower in your body when you find yourself being in your head, there is a problem with that. Feelings can also happen in your head, and you wouldn't notice them this way.

So, after you have mastered this exercise as a skill, it would be a good idea to also learn feeling inside your head. Particularly when you are worrying, feelings may be present inside your head that are too important for the working through process to ignore.